“Love yourself.”
We have all heard that before, yet it sometimes seems very hard to understand, and it is vague because we can interpret it differently. Now, what does loving yourself mean?
Does it mean going on a shopping spree and buying whatever you want? Not necessarily.
It simply means a lot. I know; it is pretty ironic.
As you may have been in many toxic relationships, it means that you don’t/didn’t love yourself enough. I know it is hard to hear, but it is true. It takes a lot of work to love yourself finally.
So what does it mean?
It starts by accepting that you haven’t loved yourself enough to avoid these people.
But, again, what does it mean?
It means that you have to start setting boundaries. You will no longer tolerate bad behaviour. You will love yourself so much that you will leave when you notice a deal-breaker.
But how can you reach that goal?
Well, as cliché as it may sound, you must enjoy your own company. To do so, it’s crucial to realize that you do not need to continuously please others at your own expense. You have to build your empire filled with love and happiness.
That being said, this brings me to the next point; before saying yes to someone, you must ensure you are not saying “no” to yourself. In other words, you have to put yourself first. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying you should be selfish, but a healthy balance should exist. For example, if you have an appointment, you maintain it and do not cancel it because a friend or a partner needs you. No. Simple as that.
Loving yourself means practicing self-compassion. In other words, it is important to be nice to yourself. That love and kindness that you gave to toxic individuals, you take it back and pour it onto yourself. You need to be your own best friend. The numerous times you have forgiven a trashy person, it is time to forgive yourself. You see, you cannot be nicer to someone while being harsh towards yourself.
Also, take yourself out on a date. Make yourself pretty and go to a restaurant and enjoy the meal you love or have always wanted to try. It is time to take care of yourself. Do groceries and make a good meal that you will enjoy. Speaking of which, take care of your health.
I believe that reconnecting with yourself is key to loving yourself. Additionally, if you used to love certain hobbies, it is time to start them again. While in a toxic relationship, we tend to lose ourselves and get submerged in the person’s toxicity. For example, I love writing, but while in a toxic relationship, I stopped. My focus was just on him, but I forgave myself. In the end, here I am, writing again. It is the most delicate situation ever, and it is just peaceful. Hence, I encourage you to pick your hobbies again.
The list can go on and on.
Yet, the essential component of loving yourself is setting your standards high. Never accept anything less than what you deserve. Don’t make excuses for people. You are respectful and deserve to be treated with love and respect. The moment that someone mistreats you, LEAVE. Life is short, and you don’t need to endure toxicity. Just block and delete or ghost. You will feel good little by little when you start doing that.
You don’t owe an explanation to a toxic person. Seriously, you don’t. Just disappear.
Set that boundary, and never let it down. We will talk about boundaries in another post. In the meantime, ensure you don’t let those energy vampires in your life.
That’s how you love yourself; by being a repellent to toxic people.
Take care!
XOXO – Melody ❤️
